Mom Stuff, Help, Thank You (January, 2014)

While Aaron is at work, I'm seated by his miniature look-a-like who is gnawing on brightly colored toys that would probably prefer a less slobbery form of play. 

Meanwhile I am scratching my head because apparently, if my sources (FB friends) are correct, a whole year just barreled by. If this rumor is true and if I had to summarize the year in a word, I would say that word was " help."

I'll start by saying I'm a kind of a lonely person. From first to fourth grade my parents would often ask me who I played with at recess that day. To which I would typically reply, "The play equipment! Hahahaha!" I was an odd kid and for the most part played contentedly by myself in the tall grass acreage beside our house. I was independent, which turns out is easy when not much is required of you. I did well in school and college. I was an exchange student and travelled a lot. I do our taxes. I backpack. I make CD's. I've been really sick and got better. I refinanced our house. Tie my own shoes. Whatevs. 

But last year, my self-reliance didn't cut it. Without going into detail, I'll just say that on June 1st, I simultaneously brought a big baby boy into this world...aaand broke my tailbone. Early parenthood has heavily suggested that my independence (rather, pride?) has a significantly unfortunate side. That is, I reeeeaaally don't like asking for help. Besides the tailbone lameness, our bundle of joy/spit-up isn't what you'd call a "sleeper." I remember a blurry-eyed moment a few months back when I swallowed my jagged pride and called my mom to see if she could entertain Oliver for a few hours while I slept. It made my shoulders slink as I shrank under the covers and gave up pretending, "I got this." 

I just don't, guys. 

And I never really did. I may have played out in the fields by myself, but my hair had been lovingly braided by a mother with carpal tunnel. I may have built fires in the wood stove but they were with scraps of wood my father brought home with hard-working, weathered hands. I've sang my insides out but you guys listened and supported me. I don't really have time to wrap all these thoughts in a bow but there they are anyway. Thank you- for everything.

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